I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
