i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Every concussion has its silver lining
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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