It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
