she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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