i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
