i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
