he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
