i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's no shave November. This is our time.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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