Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
