I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
