I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I will be naked everywhere
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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