I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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