Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
They are going to name an STD after you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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