He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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