btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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