She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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