An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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