I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
