I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
