Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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