now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
how does that bad decision feel?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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