you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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