these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
