Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
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All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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