dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
