I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do vagina's smell?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
