I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
