I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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