K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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