I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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