Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
