I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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