Please, let me fuck your mom
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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