bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
