How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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