Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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