And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
