So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
