if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
