They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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