Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
3pm strippers are depressing
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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