I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
