I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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