I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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