Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize