Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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