Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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