Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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