I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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