I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
