The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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