I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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