it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
