been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
