I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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