I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
