5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
