Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
