She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
