too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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