is your mom at the bar?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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