Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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