i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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