I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
