Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I want to make a zoo with you.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
